Yesterday I received a text from a very dear friend telling me how proud she was of Greg and I and that our strength was so enduring and the love between the both of us was amazing! She also told me not to be afraid to cry or let out my emotions, that she would be there if I just wanted to let it all out, that I did not need to hide anything from her......“The best things in life are unexpected - because there were no expectations.”

Her text drove me to write to let everyone know how we are healing and how we are dealing with the unexpected conditions of our son Dylan. I really don't like saying "Dealing" because he is our son and we created him and we love him so much!! We have gotten so many text, phone calls, email, cards and I know I have not gotten back to everyone and I apologize. This past month has been a lot of adjusting and taking care of our baby boy. Greg is back to work and I am being a mommy. Of course I have a lot of added extra things on my plate. I have to take Dylan to 3 different doctors to make sure he is on track for his surgery and everything with his heart is good. I will be honest, I am scared to death for my son to go into surgery. The thought of him being under for 2 hours makes my heart ache. When I think about it I cry. I hurt for him. I wish I could hold his hand and be there, but I am not aloud in the room. I have done a lot of research and he will be in great hands and these surgeries are done all the time. This surgery will be a great outcome for a great future for him. I just want to get it done and over with so we can move on!!! I hate the feeling of thinking something is wrong with his heart everyday and being nervous to do anything. But the doctors have told us that he is moving a long great and if there was something more serious they would tell us. We had one therapy session for his down syndrome and just waiting for our new teacher to contact us and then she will be with him until he is 3. He is eating great and amazingly almost sleeping through the night!! I guess we got lucky. Dylan never cries and if he does it is like a little wine. He is amazing!!!

As we walk through this journey of life things happen and sometimes we know right away, sometimes we don't know till later and sometimes we may never know. Life has unexpected paths for everyone. That is what life is about is the unexpected, we don't know that will happen today, tomorrow or 10 years from now but if we see the beauty in the unexpected life will all make sense. How boring would life be if we knew every second of everyday? There have been many things in my life that have happened and I don't know why they happened to me and I would ask God why, and never got answers? If we trust and believe our path will one day make everything seem all worth it. " Seek love and Strength no matter what life brings you and God will always provide"

This journey Greg and I have been given all makes sense. When Dylan was born I will tell you I was devastated, I was so sad that my son was not normal, I was sad he would not look like Greg and I, I mean he will have some of our features and we created him but not the way I expected or dreamed of. The paths that Greg and I have gone down through our lives have brought us to this very moment in time. I know we will have many more journeys and ups and downs but Dylan's journey has made us realize our purpose in life. God brought Greg and I together, let us fall deeply in love with each other and let us have this beautiful baby boy. He knew that we would be the most amazing parents to him!! We have a lot of research to do to make sure our son has the best life, but with my CRAZY organizational mind set we will get it done! Greg and I are doing great and love being a mommy and daddy. I could have 5 more!

Remember life will never be perfect, God never told us it would be easy or wrote a book on how life would be? We just live life. You can choose to keep your head down or you can choose to keep it held hi. Weather you have had an experience like Greg and I or have a child with Down Syndrome or maybe some other experience that has made you question. Don't question? Just live an amazing life, because it could be gone tomorrow. Enjoy the beauty of life your families, your children and that you are alive. Take those experiences that we have all had and use them, take those people who have touched our lives in many ways and love them.You may not talk to them anymore or they may have passed but for some reason or another they were in your life for a reason. I hope that our story will help you to know that it is all about healing and you will heal, and that life is unexpected and you love what God gives you and for us it was the MOST amazing beautiful little boy ever! We all grief differently and deal with things in our own ways, but it will get easier. Life will make sense if it does not already. God has a plan for every single one of us and that is the most amazing part of life. It is beautiful and so are you!

My Joy

1 Month Old

Today you are 1 month old. I cannot believe that it has already been a month since you were born. You are the most beautiful, loving, sweet little boy ever. I never new I could love something and someone so much! It is the most amazing feeling in the world. God truly has blessed your daddy and I with the greatest gift anyone could ever ask for!

When I sit and feed you at night and then rock you to sleep, I just hold you and kiss you. I could do this till you are 40. I never want to put you to bed because I love that feeling of having you close, close to my heart. I love the smell of you and the noises you make. I love when you look at me when you hear my voice. I love when you hold my hand. I love the days we spend together. I love the little smiles you make when you are sleeping. There are nights when you are sleeping next to me that I just stare at you because I cannot get enough. I usually end up falling asleep because I tell myself we have our whole lives together and I am the luckiest Mom and person in this world because God chose me as your Mommy.

You weigh 7 pounds 8 ounces. You eat about 3 to 4 ounces and last night was the first time you slept from 10:00pm to 6:00am. You love to take naps in your swing and love to go on walks.You truly are the sweetest little boy in the world!!!

Girls Birthday Dinner

Last night my best girlfriends came over for an early birthday dinner. They brought pizza and salad and of course some yummy wine! It was so nice because I just have not been able to really get out of the house since Dylan is still only 1 month old. So they decided to bring dinner in. Dylan was wide awake the whole time so all the girls got to hold him and spend some time with him. I am so thankful for all my girlfriends that god has blessed me with. I love them so much!

Family Birthdays

This past weekend we had a birthday BBQ for me and my step sister Carly at my Dad and Step Mom's house. My Grandma came down for the day and my sister and her beautiful family. This is the first year that I really have not even thought about my birthday and if you know me that is very unlike me. I have always been the person with the month long birthdays. This year it is all about Dylan, I just have been so busy with him I have not had one minute to think about it. It was a fun and beautiful day!

Tummy Time

So when our therapist came last week she had put Dylan on his belly. I asked her " Isn't it to early"? she said actually for down syndrome babies you want to try and put them on there bellies at least 2 times a day for as long as they can handle it. The most would usually be about 5 minutes. This actually will help them with there strength and motor skills earlier. This morning we did some Tummy Time and I captured a little. He is such a strong boy!

You Bring Joy To God

"His unchanging plan has always been to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. And this gave him great pleasure." (Ephesians 1:5 NLT)
Say the following as a prayer.
In faith, I know this to be true:
God is in love with me, and when he thinks of me, it brings him joy.
It was his good pleasure to create me, and he created me so he could love me and his glory could shine through me. He chose me “in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight” (Ephesians 1:4 NIV).
In his love, he determined to adopt me into his family, and, even then, he planned for my redemption through Jesus’ blood, bringing “the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace that he lavished on [me] with all wisdom and understanding” (Ephesians 1:7–8).
His love for me is continuous, so that I can say with confidence and joy, “When I awake, I am still with you” (Psalm 139:18b).
By his Spirit, I can live a life worthy of the Lord, and I am able to “please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God” (Colossians 1:10).
Jesus teaches me this confidence in God’s love, so that the same joy that is in him will be in me and so my joy will be complete, centered wholly in God (John 15:11).

Bed Time Love

Moments like this I will cherish forever. When Greg and I feed Dylan at night before bed he always falls asleep on us and we never want to let him go. We sing to him and tell him how much we love him. We usually sit with him for about 30 minutes before we actually want to put him in his bed. Greg and I never thought in a million years that we coud love someone as much as we love our son!!

Beach Day

Today was Dylan's first day at the beach. I know he is not yet big enough to really know where he was, but it was nice for mommy and Dylan to get out of the house. We had an amazing day with family and enjoyed the beautiful weather!!

What Is Down Syndrome

Here is a little back ground on down syndrome....

What is Down syndrome?

Down syndrome is a chromosomal condition that is associated with intellectual disability, a characteristic facial appearance, and weak muscle tone (hypotonia) in infancy. All affected individuals experience cognitive delays, but the intellectual disability is usually mild to moderate.

People with Down syndrome may have a variety of birth defects. About half of all affected children are born with a heart defect. Digestive abnormalities, such as a blockage of the intestine, are less common.
Individuals with Down syndrome have an increased risk of developing several medical conditions. These include gastroesophageal reflux, which is a backflow of acidic stomach contents into the esophagus, and celiac disease, which is an intolerance of a wheat protein called gluten. About 15 percent of people with Down syndrome have an underactive thyroid gland (hypothyroidism). The thyroid gland is a butterfly-shaped organ in the lower neck that produces hormones. Individuals with Down syndrome also have an increased risk of hearing and vision problems. Additionally, a small percentage of children with Down syndrome develop cancer of blood-forming cells (leukemia).

Delayed development and behavioral problems are often reported in children with Down syndrome. Affected individuals' speech and language develop later and more slowly than in children without Down syndrome, and affected individuals' speech may be more difficult to understand. Behavioral issues can include attention problems, obsessive/compulsive behavior, and stubbornness or tantrums. A small percentage of people with Down syndrome are also diagnosed with developmental conditions called autism spectrum disorders, which affect communication and social interaction.

People with Down syndrome often experience a gradual decline in thinking ability (cognition) as they age, usually starting around age 50. Down syndrome is also associated with an increased risk of developing Alzheimer disease, a brain disorder that results in a gradual loss of memory, judgment, and ability to function. Approximately half of adults with Down syndrome develop Alzheimer disease. Although Alzheimer disease is usually a disorder that occurs in older adults, people with Down syndrome usually develop this condition in their fifties or sixties.

How common is Down syndrome?

Down syndrome occurs in about 1 in 700 newborns. Although women of any age can have a child with Down syndrome, the chance of having a child with this condition increases as a woman gets older.

What are the genetic changes related to Down syndrome?

Most cases of Down syndrome result from trisomy 21, which means each cell in the body has three copies of chromosome 21 instead of the usual two copies.

Less commonly, Down syndrome occurs when part of chromosome 21 becomes attached (translocated) to another chromosome during the formation of reproductive cells (eggs and sperm) in a parent or very early in fetal development. Affected people have two normal copies of chromosome 21 plus extra material from chromosome 21 attached to another chromosome, resulting in three copies of genetic material from chromosome 21. Affected individuals with this genetic change are said to have translocation Down syndrome.

A very small percentage of people with Down syndrome have an extra copy of chromosome 21 in only some of the body's cells. In these people, the condition is called mosaic Down syndrome.
Researchers believe that having extra copies of genes on chromosome 21 disrupts the course of normal development, causing the characteristic features of Down syndrome and the increased risk of health problems associated with this condition.

Can Down Syndrome be inherited?

Most cases of Down syndrome are not inherited. When the condition is caused by trisomy 21, the chromosomal abnormality occurs as a random event during the formation of reproductive cells in a parent. The abnormality usually occurs in egg cells, but it occasionally occurs in sperm cells. An error in cell division called nondisjunction results in a reproductive cell with an abnormal number of chromosomes. For example, an egg or sperm cell may gain an extra copy of chromosome 21. If one of these atypical reproductive cells contributes to the genetic makeup of a child, the child will have an extra chromosome 21 in each of the body's cells.

People with translocation Down syndrome can inherit the condition from an unaffected parent. The parent carries a rearrangement of genetic material between chromosome 21 and another chromosome. This rearrangement is called a balanced translocation. No genetic material is gained or lost in a balanced translocation, so these chromosomal changes usually do not cause any health problems. However, as this translocation is passed to the next generation, it can become unbalanced. People who inherit an unbalanced translocation involving chromosome 21 may have extra genetic material from chromosome 21, which causes Down syndrome.

Like trisomy 21, mosaic Down syndrome is not inherited. It occurs as a random event during cell division early in fetal development. As a result, some of the body's cells have the usual two copies of chromosome 21, and other cells have three copies of this chromosome.

Dylan's Hospital Pictures

Wanted to share some pictures from the hospital when Dylan was born. Our little angel!

I am in love

Waiting for our little man to arrive

Proud daddy

Grandpa and Auntie Carly

Poor little guy is so swollen

My little beanie head

Going home

Daddy and Dylan

My little glow worm

Sleepy Head

Ready to go home

Sleepy Head

Just had to share. This is Dylan's favorite way to sleep!!

In Home Therapy-RCOC

Yesterday was Dylan's first in home therapy session with RCOC ( Regional Center of Orange County) This is an organization that provides therapy, support groups, activities, etc for any child that has a disability. Yesterday was an evaluation of Dylan to see how he is doing so far. They looked at how he reacted to noise, light and wanted to know about his eating. We also put him on his tummy to see how strong he was. Our counselor was very happy with everything. She said he was doing just as good as a newborn should. With most down babies they will have some trouble with there eyes as well as trouble with eating and so far Dylan does not have either of those. I was so proud of him. Our little man is strong and I know he is going to do just great!

Dylan will have in home ttherapy once a week until he is 3 years old and then we will find a preschool for him to go to. I am so excited to be right by his side and do some fun mommy and me classes.

Dylan's Journey

“You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it”. (Psalms 139:13-14 NLT)

The Bible says you were prescribed before birth. God knew what you would be like. He chose you, and he chose your characteristics. This means you are unique. There is only one you. There is nobody else who could be you. If you don't be you, who is going to be you? You are irreplaceable. I read recently that there are 25,000 varieties of orchids in the world. If I had been God, I would have made a yellow orchid, a blue orchid, and a red orchid. Not God. The creator loves variety — 25,000 different varieties of orchids.

What's even more amazing is there are 4 billion varieties of people. And God made them all. You're unique. Nobody can be you. David says be grateful: “Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it” (Psalm 139:14 NLT).Be glad you're you. God didn’t make you by accident. Can you imagine an artist whose paintings all look the same? How about a guy who paints 12 pictures and puts them up in his living room, then the pictures come to life and vote to all become like one. The artist would be disappointed. God doesn't want you to be like anybody else. He wants you to be you.

I cannot believe our son is 3 weeks old? As I sit here to try and find the words to write to this post I start to cry, but as I look over at my beautiful son I somehow find a way to start writing. I have thought about it long and hard and I have decided to make our family blog public. I have had it just for family and friends, but ever since the birth of our beautiful son my heart has been so heavy to share the story of Dylan’s birth... with whoever I can. I hope my blog will bring hope and faith to whoever read’s it. I will be keeping our blog updated to keep everyone posted on Dylan’s conditions as well as our family. It has been a long road but will only get better. We will have many challenges ahead but with God’s love and strength we will get through it. God has truly blessed us with the most amazing gift anyone could ask for and that is a beautiful baby boy. This is “Our Story, Our Love, Our Strength, Our Family and the Bond That Will Never Break Us”

 I feel like I have waited and longed for this day my whole life. When I turned 30 last year my clock was ticking and new it was time to start trying to have a baby. When Greg and I got married we told each other that we would wait one year to enjoy our marriage and each other, but of course the impatient me was just too excited and wanted to start earlier! I just did not know how long it would take us and if we would have complications. You never know what will happen until you really start trying. We started trying for a baby in September 2011 and on November 6, 2011 I took a pregnancy test and it was positive! I could not believe it so I took 4 pregnancy tests just to be sure. We found out we were pregnant on the DAY of our 1 year anniversary. I could have not of asked for a more amazing anniversary gift. We were having a baby!!!!

As I went through my pregnancy, everything was great! We went through every routine testing and all of it was perfect. I exercised; I ate great and just felt amazing. I loved being pregnant! I had only gained about 37 pounds. Towards the end my feet started to swell and just felt really big. I decided to take my full 4 weeks of disability to get ready and prepare for the arrival of our beautiful son. When we went for my 36 week checkup I was having some contractions and was dilated to 1, but that did not mean a thing. You could be dilated to 1 for weeks. I would joke with Greg and tell him “that I am so ready and uncomfortable, and if he came early I would be ok.” Deep down in my heart I wanted him to go full term. I wanted a full and healthy baby and I really wanted to enjoy the last 3 weeks of not working and enjoying some me time.

It was Tuesday morning June 26, at about 3:00am when I woke up to what I thought I peed my pants..Ha! I went to the bathroom because I was unsure of what it was. I actually went back to bed for about an hour and then woke up to me peeing my pants again. This time I woke Greg up and said "I think my water broke" he was like...what??? I decided to call my doctor because the weekend before Greg and I had took our child birth class and they said, if your water brakes to come into the hospital no more than one hour after. When your water breaks it can cause an infection to the baby if you don't get there in a timely manner. So I told my doctor what had happened and he said to go to the hospital. I did not know what to think; I was only 37 weeks pregnant and thought to myself, this can't be happening?? So I took a shower since I was not having contractions, yes can you believe it I took a shower, I wanted to be clean! We packed up and headed to the hospital. When we checked in they had me go into a room and monitor me and check to see if my water did break and sure enough it did. The nurse looked at me and said “you are not going anywhere". I could not believe that we were having a baby, it came so fast and even though I was ready I was not ready!

At about 5:00am Greg and I started to send text to our family to let them know we were having a baby. The nurses came in to start me on Pitocin and to get my epidural. Once I had my epidural it was go time! I started to get a little reaction from the epidural where my body would shake, but the doctor's said it was normal. They could really not give me anything because Dylan was still inside of me. We had my mom and Greg's mom in the room with us waiting. It was a very long day. Throughout the day the nurses would come into check me and I was dilating very well but Dylan was still up really high and not coming down. We tried everything to get him to move but the little guy just wanted to stay. By about 5:30pm my doctor came into the room to check me because I was fully dilated to 10. When she checked me again he was still up really high. His face was also sunny side up so the poor little guy was just getting so much pressure on his face. My doctor had me push a few times to see what would happen and she was not happy. When I would push Dylan's heart rate was dropping. So after almost 12 hours of labor she decided the best thing was to do a C-section. I got a little scared when they told me that we were changing to a C-section but I did not care because I wanted to meet my beautiful son. We headed to the surgery room and they started my C-Section. With Greg by my side I did awesome and at 6:46pm our son finally made his way into the world. When I first saw him and held him in my arms, it was the greatest day of my life. All the labor and waiting for him was well worth the wait!!!!

After the surgery was over they brought me into the recovery room for them to monitor me and to hold my son. We did our skin to skin and they gave him a bath. I was in just awe of him and had this amazing over whelming love that just came over me, like nothing else in this world even matters. I was really out of it in recovery because the doctors had to give me Demerol for my shakes. After recovery we finally got settled into our room and just held our new son and of course tried to get some rest. I don't know what I would do without the nurses after a C-section. They were so helpful and just amazing!!!

The next day since we had Dylan a little later on Tuesday we knew we would be getting a lot of visitors. The first visitor was actually Dylan's pediatrician, she came to check on him and give him his circumcision. When Greg and the doctor walked into the room to do the procedure she noticed that his lips and face were blue. They checked his temperature and it was very low. She just felt like something was wrong and did not go through with his circumcision. When they came back to the room with him Greg had a look on his face that I will never ever forget. I asked what is wrong. Our doctor said she wanted to order an echo for his heart because something did not look right, she also mentioned that some of his features looked like signs of Down syndrome and she wanted to order a chromosome test also. My heart dropped! What do you mean?? She could not give me an answer. As Greg and I waited for the results to come back, we sat there in agony wondering what the heck, what did we do, did I do something wrong in my pregnancy, did we do something wrong? All of these things went through our head. This beautiful baby boy we just had and something is wrong with him, this can’t be right? I was so sad and could not stop crying. I thought for a moment in time that I was in a dream and I would wake up and I would still be pregnant with Dylan and waiting for his arrival, but it was not a dream it was all real.

Later that day another doctor had come into our room. This doctor was a Cardiologist who had looked into detail on Dylan’s echo results. I don’t know how some doctors do their job, because it has to be the hardest one when you have to tell new parents that something is wrong with their child. The results came back that Dylan has 2 holes in his heart (AVSD) and will need open heart surgery when he is 5 months old. Again I could not believe the doctor was telling us this. All we could do was cry more! The thought of our 5 month old son having open heart surgery makes me sick. So now that we got these results we were still waiting for the chromosome test to come back. These results we had to wait a couple days, and let me tell you they were the longest 2 days of our lives. As I would stare and hold my new son and look at him, I would really try to convince myself that there was no way he looked Down syndrome. He was beautiful, he was sweet and everything about him he looked like his daddy, dark hair, dark brown eyes, beautiful lips and the most beautiful olive skin. He was perfect!!

Through the next few days we had visitors and lots of them. Our family new of what was going on and the test we were waiting for. One afternoon we had about 8 people in our room. It was my mom, Greg’s mom, my grandma, my aunt’s we were all visiting and enjoying beautiful Dylan when the phone rang. I was up and out of bed to answer the call. It was our pediatrician to let us know the results of the chromosome test.  I knew in her voice from the first time she said hello that this was not a good phone call. She called to let us know that are son was positive for Trysomine 21. My heart dropped so far into my stomach I felt I was going to be sick. At that moment the room got quite and everyone filled up with tears and could not believe this was actually happening. In that moment for me something so amazing came over me, almost like I knew God had his hands over me, because I felt peace, I felt love. All I could do was pick my son up to kiss him and just tell him how much I love him. I did not want to cry, I felt if I cried he would know something was wrong. I felt he was looking at me and asking “What is wrong with me mommy”?  I NEVER want him to think something is wrong, I never want him to think something is wrong with him. He is a child of God and he is perfect!!! He is our son, we created him and God gave us this divine gift, he is a gift that god saw both of us worthy of having and wanted us to be his parents. We are proud to be Dylan’s mommy and daddy!!

The next few days were up and down, but mostly up. We could not get enough of our son but honestly just wanted to get home and get settled in. It was a long week and if I had to talk to one more doctor I was going to lose my mind! On Saturday we finally got released from the hospital and were so excited to get home so we could all sleep in our own beds and enjoy being a family!

I will admit that this journey was not an easy start. I had a very hard time when we first found out about our son. I mean you go into have a beautiful child and have an amazing pregnancy and then the next thing you know, all of these things are wrong with him. How would you take it? Greg and I cried hard and that is ok. I questioned myself every day, did I do something wrong in my pregnancy? There was nothing we did, this happened at conception and it just proves that God wanted us to have this beautiful baby boy and has given us the biggest blessing I could ever ask for!!

I have realized that life is too short, why dwell about the small things. Who cares how big your house is, how much money you have, what car you drive, what designer clothes you have. None of this will matter when you pass one day. Love is all we need, blessings are all we need, friends and family are all we need. Life is amazing; to wake up every day is truly a gift. Dylan has has opened Greg and I heart so much and we both now know our purpose in life. We were meant to be Dylan's mommy and daddy. We are here to love and teach him amazing things throughout his life. As he is here to teach us about love and kindness. I am so proud to be his mom and cannot wait to watch him grow old and love on him every day of my life. Greg and I cannot wait to give him brothers and sister's to play with!

Thank you to our family and friends for being here through every step of the way. You are our light and strength and don't know what we would do without each and every one of you. I know Dylan is only a few weeks old but he has already touched many people's hearts in many ways. Thank you to the nurses and doctors throughout my delivery and week of recovery. Everyone was truly amazing and so supportive I could of not of asked to be in a better place with such amazing people. I hope my story and Dylan's story will touch the hearts of many and open eyes to see that life is so precious and we really don't know what life will bring us, but if we believe in God and that he will never give you more than you can handle and will always be right by your side to show you the way. I hope you will follow our family and Dylan's progress through the many challenges and the beautiful life ahead of us. We love each and every one of you.